★ Love this ! ★

My heart tightens, just a little it tightens.
If it’s tightening like this, could it be true love…?

We used to play and throw ourselves onto the shining grass, didn’t we?
We were so innocent during our childhood days.
But deep in my heart my feelings grew.
Little by little I had begun to realize them.

The more time we spent together,
The less honest I could be and instead I did things indirectly.

My heart tightens gently next to you.
I hold my heart as I gaze at you.
That’s the beginning of my tiny love.
I still can’t say it now but,
I love…you.

I’m a scatterbrain
And I go at my own pace.
Not a single thing changes but,
The light reflecting you deep in my eyes
Shines just a little radiantly.

Someday with the same feelings as me,
I wonder if you will gaze back at me. Please God.

My heart tightens, just a little it tightens.
Tightening like this, my feelings begin to run.
That’s the beginning of my true love.
Deep in my chest I whispered
I love..you.

My heart tightens gently next to you.
I hold my heart as I gaze at you.
Someday with the same feelings as me,
I want you to hold me but,
Love is not…in a hurry.

i really love this ! it's a lyric from a certain song .
i love the translation , so i wanna sare this with you all !

★ I skipped blogging again ★

argh !! long time no see , my bloggie !
i've been busy with my school work and tests .
and , now , i'm still on the first day of my block test .
*sigh* today is Indonesian Language and Technology Information .
TI is not hard though , i'm sure that i can get up to 90 .
but , it's kinda gloomy for my Indonesian Language ..
it's not hard , but confusing , the answers are so close to each other , and i don't know which one is best . darn it .

Tomorrow is Physics and History .
Aw , Physics's material is so many ! i might spend all night to memorize all of them .
i wonder if the teacher will give us the hard one .
*pray* Mr.Eddy m please don;t give us the hard one ! have mercy to us !

History also hard , and i really hate that subject .Everytime i study it , i always feel so sleepy . is it has anesthetic on it ??? so confusing .

i'm not a NERD type of student from the start , and i study when it was needed .
ah , of course i'm serious about it .

And , it's still rainy day ~ LOVE it so much .
my mood is good lately .
and , you know , my parents already asked me to think about my future .
What i want to be , and my university .
But , i still can't think anything else beside design , though .
Mom said it's already the time to think about it .
yeah , yeah , i'll think about it ...
i sure will ! it's my future afterall , i'll have to decide too .

ah , maybe this two weeks i'll be absent for blogging ..
this block test is harder than i thought , so i must study hard .

that's all for now , toodles ~

★ the invitation to the ball ★

When you read how the heroine of the fairytale is always in happy ending ,
don't you feel envy ?
Because in reality ,
No matter how hard you pray for it , the fairy tale like happy ending never exist .
when the heroine live happily ever after with the prince charming ,
don't you think that i seems so fake ?
Because the world is not as sweet as that .
But , I never blamed the fairy tale for letting us dream for the same happy ending.
Because even me also hope the same thing .

When you wear worn out clothes and work hard for life .
Suddenly one day , you transformed into cinderella-like heroine .
and was invited to the ball , to meet the an eternal love .
Don't you think it's so sweet ?
Everyone wish for the same thing .

Fairy tale always give us time to dream .
Nothing is better than the love story like in fairy tale .
work hard to live better , and find your true lover ,
keep dreaming around what is that lover looks like .
Keep dreaming how beautiful you would be when you become a cinderella .
it's just like a cinderella story .
An invitation to the ball is just like blessing from the GOD .

The beauty of fairy tale never failed to make us dreaming a lot .
How it would be if our life in reality is as nice as fairy tale .
I always giggled when i'm trying to imagine it .
" it'd be nice if it's going to happen . "
that's just what i mumbled after i thought that it's too impossible to be granted .
Eventhough , i know that anything is possible .

So , keep dreaming around ~ and serve yourself with your imagination.
Will you get the invitation to the ball as cinderella got ?
*giggle* fairy tale sure is nice ~ !

★ sweet devil ★

Hatsune Miku - Sweet Devil ( lyrics english translation )

Make up and Dress up!
I become very lovely too!
My eyelashes are rather long, right? Mascara and fake eyelashes
Eyeliner is just perfect, yeah? Distinct shadows and highlights
For now my lips are sparkling, covered in lots of pink!

Are my breasts too exposed? Still, I prefer them like this, you know
My heels are 3 centimetres up! Standing on tiptoe, I'm about just the right height
Baby doll on my wrist, don't you feel a sweet throbbing?
Red nail polish is super-cute, right? Definitely!

Am I dreaming? Just because it’s you, don’t call it love
Don’t misunderstand me, okay! I’m liar girl

I have something to say!
Can you hear my voice? You see?
I'm being pushy again, but it's fine. I'm going in your heart!
Suddenly I pull you towards me. Can’t that sort of thing be done?
It’s easy to do it with our height difference of 10 centimetres, right?

Combing my fingers through your hair, I reassure and caress you
Look at only me! Don't turn your eyes away
Even a cynical laugh would be fine!
Embrace me right now, and it better be firm!

Don't you understand? My right hand is empty
I won’t say it again, understand!
Want you to worry about me...
I'm saucy girl.

You’re not even looking at those girls
But I’m not really jealous…
I have only you. It's shameful. Don't say.
So kiss me! Do you love sweet devil?

I really like you, actually
It must be “only me,” otherwise I won’t like it
I'm sorry not to become meekly.
"I love you baby!"

I really like you, it’s the truth
It must be “only you,” otherwise I won’t like, will I?
I have only you, it’s really true!
So kiss me! Do you love sweet devil?

Am I dreaming? Just because it’s you, don’t call it love
Don’t misunderstand me, okay! I’m liar girl

I’m sorry for all the lies, but
It must be “only me,” otherwise it’s hopeless...
Can you love me through life? That’s the promise
It’s fine for you kiss me! Do you love sweet devil?

★ From a long time ago ★

Long long time ago .
i saw you under a big cherry blossom tree .
the lonely face that you showed me , just make my heart tremble .
your white porcelain skin , untained by any color .
i feel that i saw a goddess .

1000 years passed ..
now i was born in a tropical place .
i saw you walking on the white sand , and the breeze passed by your face .
you're crying ...
i don't know what happened to you , but i just can see you from far away .
i want to reach you , but , you seem so far away .

2000 years passed ..
now , i was born as a little boy in Paris .
i saw you again , but , you're a beautiful lady that much older than me .
your porcelain skin hasn't change . still beautiful and white .
your red lips smile at me .
now , you can smile ...
i wave at you , and run away when i saw your left hand.
there's a ring . you've married to someone else .

400 years passed ...
i sit on a bench while holding your hands .
you said that you're going to die soon .
i cry , i haven't told you my feelings yet .
from a long time ago , i love you .
and even until now ..
for thousands years , i waited , and now ...
you're going to leave me .
" sorry , i love you ." she said to me .
then she disappeared from my sight and vanished just like wind .
but , i know that you're in my heart .
always guarded my heart with your warmth and your hug .

★ my thought about my world ★

every night , on my bed . i always think about what my world is .
since i was small , i always been said by my parents that i hav to create my own world.
but ... what exactly my world is ?
i still don't understand .
i think that i just can create my own world alone .
and i always stay in the darkness . what should i do ?
i don't know ...








and i stared my piano in the corner of my room .
i just need the piano to fill my world with music .
my world is just like a blank paper .
no colors and just black and white . just like the piano.
piano let me knows the beauty of melodies .
i feel that i'm not alone anymore .


ad then , i found out about a new existence in this life .
FRIEND .
it's friend that make me feel that i'm not alone.
i can make my own world along side with friends .
they laugh with me .
they smile with me .
they cry with me .
they walk along with me .
they hold my hand .
friend let me know , that this world is colorful.
it's not black and white . it's full of color .
the melodies of piano and the warmth of friends's hands , complete my WORLD .

★ holiday ★

horray ! tomorrow's a holiday~!
even though it's just 1 day , it's better than no holiday ~!
aaa , today also having so much fun at school ..
ah ...
tomorrow i also have group study with my friends ..
we're about to having a play at school ~
it's better to go somewhere tomorrow , than just sit all day at home .
i'll be a piggy !
LOL

Really look forward for the play .
ah , and daddy said that he wanna buy me a sanner ASAP !
woo hoo !
Jack pot !

I also just finished my newest master-piece !
i had to spend some of my sleep time just to finished it !
no wonder that it's full-color !
yeah , my home-room teacher also praise me . haha ...
hmm , but it's sure hard to finish ... i don't know how many times i erase the false part .

and , my novel finally reach CHAPTER 9 ! and it's almost make my novel complete !
my novel will end in CHAPTER 12 . so , it's just a lil' more ~ !
keep supporting !

★ Damn Hot Day ★

urgh ... i miss the rainy days ...
it's so hot today . it's true that it's raining today , but just a little bit !
oh , my . after the rain stopped , the day become so hot !

i wonder if i can survive in the other country's summer ? LOL
i still can't find good camera ..
there's so many cameras , but why i can't find one that suit me best ?
my big bro said that i must wait to the new releases ...
yeah , maybe he's right ... wait and wait .

argh , but really .. why is it so hot today ?
and the heat is killing me . even though i'm in a full-AC room , the heat still come in .
damn ... so hot ...
i can't stand heat ... it's an enemy to my skin and health ( aw ) LOL
hwahahaha ..

i also waiting for IRYU season 3 to release !
i can't wait for that !

i even haven't bought my SCANNER !
i need it ! uwaaah ! my dad and mom're kinda busy lately , so i can't ask them to take me to buy SCANNER or HEAD-PHONE .
and .... SEMESTER EXAM is near ! i haven't prepare myself yet ! hwaaa !
i bet that my grades are falling down to the bottom of the hill ...
i hate Trigonometri ... hwaaa ...

★ The strong Merry-Go-Round ★

"I don't want to see your face ever again." you said bitterly, as a tear ran down your cheek.
Every time you were almost swallowed by waves of contradiction; I figured you were holding in your tears.

Everyone overestimated you saying, "You're such a strong person."
You never realized it, but at some point, you began losing your true-self.

The sun that was supposed to be by your side, shattered and lost its light.
Erasing both truth and lies from back then.

Merry-Go-Round, spinning in a world of dreams,
ironically remembering you, my heart began to burn.

You know I live far away from you; and even though I know better,
my heart keeps spinning just for you. Almost like a Merry-Go-Round.

And even though that love praises the past stirring up my feelings, I still want to see you.
I do not wish it right now, but I will try to avoid it.

I am regretting ever having said it - but I don't want to know anything.

I was always searching for some sort of deep emotion within you;
a mysterious secret of yours.

Merry-Go-Round, spinning in a world of dreams,
the silhouette you left behind chases after the morning sun.

One more time someday I'll see a paradise looking back with love.
So that is why I only want to find an opportunity to reunite us by chance.

Merry-Go-Round - Spinning in a world of dreams.
Merry-Go-Round - Spinning in a world of dreams.
Merry-Go-Round - I'm still calling your name.

The sun that was supposed to be by your side, shattered and lost its light.
Erasing both truth and lies from back then.

Merry-Go-Round, spinning in a world of dreams,
the silhouette you left behind chases after the morning sun.

The sun that was supposed to be by your side.

Reminiscing on the Merry-Go-Round,
spinning in a world of dreams.

★ Ft. ★

It'll be all right! I'll yell it out countless times.
I believe your every tomorrow will be shining.
The intersection of all people whose dreams have come true is one point:
Never giving up. And that's why we're not gonna lose!

When it seems like you'll be blown away by the headwinds,
Grasp this land, try to take a chance.
Because you're not alone anymore, got it?

Go forward, more and more!
Don't give up on your awesome dream!
That's right, don't cry! Move on, my way!
Now, with the light shining down upon you
Don't even think about something like giving up!
Even if you trade being hurt again for strength.
Your eyes, always looking straight ahead,
Now can surely see the light!

You can do it, Don't give up, Yo, Wake up!! Every morning,
That's for your life
Rainy days, sunny days, the flame that burns as the fire of life has meaning and opportunity?

Nobody knows truth and future are so
The answer is here, always in your heart
Burn the world know the mind tomorrow; Believe in your heart!

She's crying now embracing our weakness,
Enveloped the world still blooms or withers in the rain
To relent and eventually disappear in exchange for something
You will look the light, straight in your eyes.

In the back of my mind a little dream of the gale shook the large world.
He Cried one of his repeated laments, looking at the sky, and roadside flowers
Ah, but we are not alone, but the other wing.
I am not worthy to be enough for you; you are me
'll Even reach that infinite sky, happiness overlap.

Go forward, more and more!
Don't give up on your awesome dream!
That's right, don't cry! Move on, my way!
Now, with the light shining down upon you.

★ The Place of Hope ★

I don’t know why we’re afraid of it
Never ever feel like I do today
I don’t know what you pray for when you’re alone
I don’t know where we’ll go tomorrow
Never ever lose the way for you
I’ll know the reason why we are still here

Take me high
Floating like a kite
Gently make me free
Holding a thousand dreams

Hey, where do the flowing clouds go?
What do you want?
What do you see? One of these days,
The future will swallow everything up,
But I don’t mind,
’cause I will be there with you

I don’t know why I miss the moon
Never ever felt like I do tonight
You don’t have to be so nice
Just smile again

I don’t know why I think of you
Never ever felt like I do today
You don’t have to be so nice
Just be beside me

Take you high
Floating like a bird
Gently make you free
Holding a thousand dreams

In this way, hey, where are we going?
What do you want?
What do you hear? One of these days,
The future will swallow everything up,
So even on the day of the end,
oh, I will be there with you

The blue sky falls into the sea; the words’ color fades;
The red moon smiles down on us; what overflows from my fingertips is love.

Hey, where do the flowing clouds go?
What do you want?
What do you see? Just like that,
The future will swallow up
Even the sun,
But I don’t mind,
’cause we will be there again

I’ll always be with you

★ Under the Honey Drip ★

In the corner of the room without anyone, as if licking each other's wounds, we kissed
We held the same pain, and frail, we just watched the moonlight

When I blurt out nothing but things I don't mean, I regret it
Yet you always forgive me for being clumsy

How can it, how can it be told?
I want to send, I want to send you my feelings
I love you, I love you, because it can't be expressed
In words anymore, now...

In the corner of the room without anyone, as if licking each other's wounds, we kissed
Melting in the heat when we touch each other, if only time would be stopped like this forever

In the cold wasteland, if you'll confront them again
Then I want you to forget about tomorrow and watch me for now

Hug me, hug me, to the point that it hurts
I want to tell you, I want to tell you words of love
Accept, accept all of me

I'll give you everything, so...

Even if my hands are soiled, I won't ever let you go again
Just for you, even if a sad song
Tries to tear us apart...

The teardrops that fell onto my fingertips take the form of how I feel; I want to go live with you
As we draw close together, melting in the joined heat
Oh Moon, watch us forevermore

★ Until You and the Sun shines ★

Within the unending world
Final words flourished in profusion
so real than despair
You won't turn back anymore
So shout your voice hoarse

My usual days burst
On the day when you and the Sun died

I secretly get swallowed up
By the undesired whirlpool of noise
Don't forget my voice
Until the day when we meet again

The stolen pain of my hands
Is growing ceaselessly
The glass shattered
The truth flees
Black tears flowed

Oh, the scattering season
Guide me to despair

Because even in my karma that begun
Certainly a meaning exists for sure
decide, and get my way
That's right, be yourself
Shoot down your confusion and advance

Goodbye, I'm going already
To the beginning of the end

★ The Infection of the DEAD ★

Infection of the dead one by one.
Infection of the dead two by two.
Infection of the dead all of you.
Give in and go eat them all.

A little dream that you gave me.
But it was just over a fading bond.
What are you you look so pale,
Hey… shall we change all of this world rules.

Horrible!May-day!SOS!
Blood of busters.
Blood of your bros dropping from all over you.
For a chance to cut off the world we used to have.
We have the deepen hidden sharpen fang.

It’s joy of the time to enjoy insane, a big bite for a taste with this dark fang.

You know what, what is the ”sane” you say?
’No, I don’t know’ Don't ask me it any more.

But, it’s nice, meeting as a bait.
Try to eat, you and you all around you all.

Horrible!May-day!SOS!
Wandering in the world
You are to seek for the phantom peace.
Holding to love you’ve lost,
shouting for what you'd had.
How much you try to fill the thirst is the soul.

Is it the sin we had in past life, is there any way just to get away?

Horrible!May-day!SOS!
Brains of busters.
Wisdom, pureness, innosent, white-raw brain.
Badness, goodness, fairness, of this world we have now.
It’s with grieving masks under unfair.

Horrible!May-day!SOS!
Blood of busters.
Holy and Bright with you what we had.
Throwing dragging breaking all you’ve got now.
Falling down to the dead and splat.

Nothing more to do see and know.
Good-bye to the insane of the dead is ’fang’.

★ Gloomy day = gloomy heart ★

today's so gloomy ..
the cloud also black ...
and it's also raining ...
the weather is cold and the wind freezing me out .

it's the same as my gloomy heart ,
even though nothing bad happen today ,
i'm so gloomy .
even though i manage to have smile on my face during school time .
but ..
it's just like haing the mask on ..
aw , i feel that i'm so bad .
don't have courage to expose my true self ...
i wonder when i can expose my true self to the world ?
i always think that the world belongs to me , so , i just do whatever i want .
it's so selfish isn't it ?
i'm still a child ... so , is it wrong to be selfish ?

it's just doesn't seems right , when i hold my feelings ...
it's just .. like ran away from my own life .

i wanna scream as much as i can ..
i wanna let out this feelings ...
let them free , and let my heart feel ease and relax .
so that i can see the blue sky and sun in my heart .

★ Trying to make something neW ★

hmm ... i'm trying to publish my paintings in my blog ...
but , i'm still waiting for my scanner to arrive at here ...

really ...
i haven't post anything last week , i really busy ...
my friendalso said " why are you not posting any entry ? "
i just said that i don't have time lately .

nah , but at last i have time !
i also have drawn so many paintings ... so i wanna post it ..
but , it's kinda hard without scanner ..
i wanna try to let all of my friends see my paintings ...
hahaha

wait for it okay ~

★ Grant me Some Times ★

When the first time i step this world .
i see the beauty of the world .
i see the green grass ,
the pure transparant water ,
the blue sea ,
the baby blue sky ,
and i see them , my beloved mom and dad .

they let me see the world .
they grant me life .
they grant me happiness .
and , undirectly , they give me new experiences .
meet friends ,
feel the sadness ,
feel angry ,
fall in love ,
broken heart ,
have a fight with friends ,
make up with friends ,
know the other's feelings ,
know the world ,
and fear .

but , don;t you know that's actually why we love them ?
they give us chance to feel the world , and actually find our true selves .
i know , they also suffer because of us .
but , i'll pay for their effort ...
i want to give them happiness too .
i want to let them feel , the warmth of our love .
Dad ,
thanks for always give me your love .
thanks for always taking care of me .
thanks for let me out from harm .
thanks for grant me what i want .
thanks for angry with me for my mistakes .
thanks for giving me a chance to live .
and thanks for giving me my happiness .

Mom ,
thanks for giving a birth to me .
thanks for letting me eat your delicious food .
thanks for always hug me and comfort me when i'm sad .
thanks for teaching me stuffs .
thanks for giving me advice when i'm in lost .
thanks for letting me feel your warmth .
thanks for letting me grow into a good girl .
thanks for teaching me to be a straight-forward girl .
and thanks for giving me my happiness .

Dad , Mom ..
Thanks for everything .

that's why , i want you to give me some chances .
grant me some times more .
i'll pay back all of your love .
this time , i'll be the one who give you happiness and love .

i love you Mom and Dad .
Forever in my heart .